Thursday, January 8, 2009

Child-less shopping

Lately I have neglected my blog, just barely journaling our activities but not much else. So right now I'm going to put my Christmas post on hold for a little day-in-the-life-of-Sunshine story.
Disclaimer* If you are male or under 18, read at your own risk.
Wednesday mornings both kids are in school for a blessed 3 hours. I save up non-kid-friendly errands for Wednesdays and go crazy for those 3 hours. It's a good time. I was in Nordie's yesterday with a gift card burning a hole in my pocket and found myself in the "sleepwear" department. A good non-kid-friendly errand, buying bras, plus who wants to try on bras with a kid screaming at you trying to escape the dressing room while you are half nekkid? It was time for a new one. Now I've had a "fitting" before that consisted of the tape measure going over the shirt, but before I knew it, Carrie* (whose name has been changed to protect the innocent), had me down to my bra and undergarment. For you Mo's reading, you know what undergarment I'm talking about. Unfortunately I had on a well-loved undergarment, complete with yucky pits and a bit of leftover lint that wouldn't come out despite my repeated washings. I was in a hurry when I got dressed in the semi-darkness yesterday morning, so I didn't even realize what a yucky (though clean!) undergarment I had chosen until I was under the harsh lights of Nordie's. Now if I lived in Utah, the sales girl probably wouldn't have thought twice about the yucky undergarment, but I'm in Cali, so Carrie did a double take before she composed herself. "Ha, ha", you are thinking to yourself. "Good story, Sunshine." No wait...it gets better. After nursing both my babies, my girls aren't what they used to be. A fact of life I'm sure will naturally rectify itself once I'm done having kids, but in the meantime I just have to deal with the droopiness. (seriously, if you are a male reading this, please stop!) Last year to fill out the Jewish wedding dress (if you are new to my blog, go back to March of '08 for the Jewish wedding dress) I had to get a pair of falsies. I don't ever wear them - they are uncomfortable and sweaty (there's a nice pix for you!), but for some reason, yesterday I stuck them in the bra. It helped the cute shirt hang better....anyways, I find myself in this dressing room with Carrie already wondering about the nasty undergarment when I have to pull these puppies out of my bra so she can get a correct measurement. I turned away from her to plop them into my purse as discreetly as I can, but at this point I'm sure Carrie is really wishing she would have ignored me on the sales floor. After she took my measurement (I'm still the same pre-baby size, how did that happen??) she ran off to find some bras for me to try on. I took this time to take off the yucky undergarment and stuff that into my purse with the falsies, thinking Carrie probably didn't want to look at my lovely yellow armpits any more. I sure didn't. Quick thinking on my part, because she ended up putting every bra on me!! I've never had a fitting like this, where she stood behind me, I put the bra on, and she fastened and adjusted each bra. Thankfully her hands were warm. Must be an employment requirement. But thanks to Carrie, I rediscovered the joys of the push-up! Why, oh why did I abandon you, push-up? You bring me confidence and happiness! To help make Carrie feel better after the weird, yucky undergarment and pair of falsies, and to replenish my push-up-less wardrobe, I bought 4 bras. The girls are back where nature intended, and now I'm off to get new undergarments. Apparently they have a shorter life than bras.

20 comments:

Kim W said...

OMGsh! That is the funniest story ... EVER! Seriously, tears, running down my cheeks funny. Oh how I miss you at park!

Jill said...

Only you. The rest of us deal with our yucky unders and outdated bras for fear of having an experience like you had. Maybe I'll go for a fitting now, since you were brave enough. I'll wait until I'm in Utah though.

tawnya said...

Oh, I'm dying. Thank heavens you temporarily abandoned Christmas for that!

Kierstin said...

That is an AWESOME story Sunshine! You told it so well and gave me a good laugh! Now I just wish I could find "Carrie's" blog and read her version because I would LOVE to hear what was going through her mind :-)

Sara LaClaire said...

this is hilarious and i can only imagine. of course here in utah no one says a thing or looks twice at the garments, but yeah, i can only imagine. esp since "carrie" works in lingerie she probably has THE cutest matching bra and panties on the floor.
ps. just read kierstin's comment. ditto!

lisa said...

i love nordstroms bras!!! that is the only thing i buy there!! and i don't know how "naturally" you droopy booby situation is going to rectify itself ;)

Harper Family said...

Very Very FUNNY!!

Judy said...

My stomach hurts from laughing - I love stories like that! Thanks

Jon and Kari-Lynn Tarleton said...

HILARIOUS. I'm just glad it wasn't me :) Oh and can I say your christmas card was adorable....some of the cutest pictures I have ever seen. I'm glad they made it to the blog!!

Sunshine said...

You are so funny! I love this post!

Maree said...

I needed that laugh! I had an almost similar experience during a bra emergency in Georgia. I closed the fitting room door basically on the nose of the fitter-lady. I haven't had someone help me with my bras since I was like 13, and that was my MOM. NO way was this modest-obsessed girl going to let a stranger touch the "girls." I'm so glad you shared this!

BTW: Where are all of you guys taking these family photos on a bridge? They are GREAT!

Alicia said...

That's awesome, Sunshine. I loved the way you told it too. I could totally hear you telling it.

*katie said...

Such a great story! Thanks for the laugh!!

Jen said...

I am so glad you decided to post this! I so wish I had been there with you. To distract Carrie of course. Maybe to laugh just a tinsy bit. And ahmmm...I can at least vouch that the blouse did look great with the falsies!

3WimmerBoys said...

I love it! I did the same thing at Nordstrom after Sam. It can be embarrassing, but it is worth it once you get the perfect bra to push up those nursing boobs. I often think I should only do bra sizing while in Utah to avoid the awkwardness. Thanks for the good laugh!

Shelley said...

Ok that is the funniest story EVER!

Shelly said...

I soooooooooo miss you!!!! I wish I could have shared this experience with you!?!?!?!?!?!?! I will call you in a couple of days!! I need to hear your voice! (o:

Camille said...

that is so funny. the looks we get are hilarious! i am so glad you re-discovered the push-up, thanks to the man (or woman) who invented the push up. what would we do without it?!? thanks for the laughs and the visuals in between!

ferntyler said...

hilarious! I love the way you wrote it and the way you lived it :)

Bryn said...

You are awesome. The story, just awesome!